The Untold Story of BigBang’s T.O.P

Once the talented rapper of BIGBANG, T.O.P vanished from the spotlight after a scandal that rocked the industry. Now, years later, he’s back in the limelight as an actor on the K-Drama Squid Game. But just as his redemption arc seemed complete, controversy found him once again.

Table of Contents

• Introduction
• T.O.P’s Rise with BIGBANG
• The 2017 Scandal and Aftermath
• The Return in Squid Game 2
• Controversial Role as “Thanos”
• Confronting His Past and Family Struggles
• Departure from BIGBANG
• Final Reflections and Future Hopes

Introduction

For years, Choi Seung-hyun, known professionally as T.O.P, was a dominant force in K-pop. As BIGBANG’s deep-voiced rapper and co-songwriter, he helped define an era of music, delivering global hits like “Fantastic Baby” and “Bad Boy”. His solo tracks, including “Turn It Up” and “Doom Dada”, further cemented his reputation as an artist with a distinct style and presence.

Beyond music, he became a sought-after figure in fashion, appearing at Paris Fashion Week and collaborating with major luxury brands. However, his career took a turn when BIGBANG was set to reunite at Coachella in 2020, only for the pandemic to derail the festival. In 2023, T.O.P confirmed his departure from the group, leaving many to wonder what was next. Yet, longtime followers of T.O.P’s journey know there’s more to the story—for years, he had been under public scrutiny due to a serious scandal. So, what exactly happened, and how did it lead him here?

T.O.P’s Rise with BIGBANG

As part of one of K-pop’s most influential groups, T.O.P played a pivotal role in BIGBANG’s ascent to global superstardom. Debuting under YG Entertainment, the group quickly became known for their cutting-edge music videos, eclectic fashion sense, and creative approach to pop music. T.O.P’s signature low register contrasted sharply with G-Dragon’s higher tone, giving the group a sonic variety that set them apart.

While BIGBANG rocked charts worldwide, T.O.P. also carved out a solo path. Tracks like “Turn It Up” and “Doom Dada” showcased his experimental flair, blending avant-garde music videos with his hard-hitting rap. Thanks to this distinct identity, he became a frequent guest at fashion events, gracing runways and magazine covers. Fans adored his chic yet approachable personality, and for a time, T.O.P. seemed unstoppable.

Then, in 2017, came the turning point—an event that would shatter the near-perfect image he had built over more than a decade in the industry.

The 2017 Scandal and Aftermath

While serving his mandatory military duty in 2017, T.O.P became embroiled in a highly publicized illegal substance scandal that ultimately derailed his career. South Korea’s laws and social norms regarding substance use are notoriously strict, placing celebrities under intense public scrutiny. Initially denying the allegations, T.O.P later admitted to multiple counts of substance use, including use with his then-girlfriend Han Seo-hee.

The fallout was swift. T.O.P was hospitalized following an overdose of prescription sedatives—an incident that was initially reported as intentional, though later clarified to be an excessive amount of a medication he regularly took. The scandal and its aftermath quickly spiraled out of control. He received a two-year probationary sentence, saw his reputation plummet, and announced an indefinite hiatus from BIGBANG.

Amid public backlash, T.O.P was expected to uphold Korea’s rigid moral standards for idols, where any hint of wrongdoing could effectively end a career. Disappointed fans and critics alike questioned whether he would ever return to the limelight. After completing his military service in 2019, T.O.P. kept a low profile, staying away from social media and making no public appearances. The prolonged silence left people wondering if he would ever step forward again.

In a candid 2022 interview with Prestige Hong Kong, T.O.P. finally opened up about “the worst moment” of his life, revealing how deeply he regretted his choices. He admitted the toll on his mental health was so severe that he even attempted to take his own life during that period, highlighting just how desperate and hopeless he felt. He carried immense guilt for the harm he caused his family, friends, and loyal fans. Many sympathized with him, yet others felt the wounds were still too fresh to forgive.

The Return in Squid Game 2

Then came the bombshell that T.O.P would be part of the “Squid Game 2” cast. Fans were shocked at the news—some thrilled to see him back, others outraged by his re-entry into the entertainment world given his past. On December 26, 2024, the highly anticipated second season dropped on Netflix, bringing T.O.P back into the public eye.

The media frenzy accelerated on January 15, 2025, when T.O.P made his first formal public appearance in over a decade to promote Squid Game 2. But rather than a triumphant comeback, the event sparked a new round of controversy, with critics and netizens questioning his acting abilities and the decision to cast someone with a criminal record in such a high-profile role.

T.O.P took these criticisms head-on, stating, “I have to endure everything and accept it humbly.” He knew this wouldn’t be an easy road; still, he hoped his performance could prove he was more than his past mistakes.

Controversial Role as “Thanos”

In Squid Game 2, T.O.P portrayed Thanos, a struggling rapper battling issues with controlled substances. The parallels to his own past were immediately apparent, and audiences were divided on whether it was “meta-casting” or simply an ill-fitting choice. The negative reviews weren’t limited to the subject matter—some cited his acting as “unconvincing,” while others found the entire depiction “over-the-top.”

Even director Hwang Dong-hyuk found himself in the hot seat, defending T.O.P’s casting. He emphasized the rigorous audition process, asserting that they tested T.O.P multiple times before concluding he was the right choice. Nonetheless, the controversy continued to swirl, with detractors arguing that many “deserving, scandal-free actors” could have filled the role.

T.O.P admitted that Thanos wasn’t intended to be a glamorous figure: “He was a failed, hip-hop loser, someone whose life was consumed by addiction.” The idea was to portray him as almost ridiculous and pathetic, not a charismatic antihero. According to T.O.P, he cringed at the character’s “cartoonish” rap but felt it was necessary to drive home the point that Thanos was not a figure to be admired.

The most difficult scenes for T.O.P, by his own admission, were those involving substance use. “It was tough facing the shame about my own past when shooting the scene,” he confessed. Still, he immersed himself in research to make Thanos’s struggles believable. The parallels between fact and fiction brought him face-to-face with his own regrets, adding another layer of complexity to an already polarizing role.

Confronting His Past and Family Struggles

While T.O.P’s portrayal ignited debates across social media and entertainment circles, the hardest critics turned out to be his own parents. He revealed they couldn’t even bring themselves to say “Good job” after watching his performance in Squid Game 2. It was a poignant reminder that, despite his efforts to move on, the pain of his past mistakes remained palpable—especially for those closest to him.

Yet, T.O.P is striving for healing and growth. He acknowledged that the events from 2017 left deep scars on his mental health but credited family and friends with helping him find the strength to keep going. He believes he’s now in a place where misunderstandings have less room to breed, hoping his actions speak louder than the controversies he’s left behind. “It’s not perfect, but I believe it has improved a lot and become much stronger,” he shared, referencing his ongoing battle for mental and emotional well-being.

Departure from BIGBANG

Unsurprisingly, T.O.P’s relationship with his former bandmates remains a sensitive topic. He confirmed that he’s not in regular contact with G-Dragon, Taeyang, or Daesung. While he continues to follow their solo endeavors from afar, he openly admitted that his own departure from BIGBANG was not a spontaneous decision. “I caused great harm to both BIGBANG and my former company,” he said, referencing the toll his scandal took on the group’s image.

He added that he’d wanted to leave for years, fearing his presence would only cast a shadow on the band’s reputation. To many fans who held onto the dream of a BIGBANG reunion, T.O.P’s choice felt like a gut punch. But in his view, it was a necessary step to prevent further “damage” to those he cared about. He indicated that the pain of seeing old photos of the group together was akin to revisiting a family he’d lost. “It’s a pain only those directly involved can understand,” he explained, making it clear that the emotional stakes ran deep for everyone.

When asked if the other members tried to dissuade him from leaving, T.O.P declined to speak on their behalf. He reiterated that he didn’t want to “talk about them behind their backs,” respecting their privacy. But his words also reinforced that he sees no reunion on the horizon, stating plainly that he’s moved on from the chapter in which he was known as BIGBANG’s T.O.P.

Final Reflections and Future Hopes

Looking back, T.O.P describes his 30s as a “lost time”—a decade overshadowed by shame, self-loathing, and deep reflection. Now on the cusp of his 40s, his priorities have shifted dramatically. Once a headline-making idol, he now yearns for a quiet, stable life. “I just hope that when I wake up, I don’t see bad articles about me on Naver,” he confessed, referencing the Korean news portal that often breaks celebrity scandals.

As for music, T.O.P says he’s leaving the door open. However, any potential comeback would be under his own terms, free from the burdens of a group identity he feels he has outgrown. In the meantime, he’s focusing on self-improvement, family, and forging a new path in acting—albeit under intense scrutiny. Despite the lingering controversies, some fans find comfort in seeing him attempt to rebuild what was nearly lost forever.

T.O.P’s journey is far from over. He stands at a crossroads between public redemption and lingering guilt, trying to shed his past while embracing the uncertainty of a future that no longer revolves around BIGBANG. Whether the public will fully accept his reinvention remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: T.O.P is determined to keep moving forward—criticisms and all.

Only time will tell whether he can truly outrun the shadows of his history, or if they will continue to define him in the eyes of an industry that rarely forgives and never forgets.